Confusion and Peace of Soul

by St. Theophan the Recluse

Why does a soul, existing in sin, all confused, not arise?

This is due to the fact that it has lost equilibrium.* Equilibrium imparts to the soul fear of God and a calm conscience. When the conscience is at rest and its relationship with God is peaceful, then the soul abides within itself and holds itself in sobriety. When the conscience is anxious and has offended God, then it is difficult for the soul to be within itself, as if in a malodorous and smokey room; thus the soul runs away and seeks itself on the outside, looking for something to quench its inner melancholy, running from one thing to another so as not to remain with itself even for one minute. Yet only when the thought descends - like an angel - of reconciling itself with God and its conscience, then does the soul return to itself, like a runaway slave with a lowered head, and from that moment it begins again to be made steadfast. 

* Tochka oporii, Literally- Fulcrum, center point, focal point, point of balance, point of support.