By Fr. John (Krestiankin) of blessed memory
The hidden reason for our discord, my dear ones, consists of this, we remain only outwardly with Christ but inwardly we forget about Him; we do not follow after Him, rather we lead Christ along after us. "O Lord, look with delight on my labors, my podvigs; see I have done this and that."
Me! Me! Me! And thus "Me" has already closed Christ off from us, but it - our "Me" - becomes worn out from its own weakness, its own powerlessness. Yet Christ only looks on us with a bit of reproach, as upon His unreasonable children; He allows us to completely delight in our own powerlessness so that we would come yet again to Him, this time already on our own.
Translated from Russian by Fr. Zechariah & Mat. Natalia.